For You
by TheRisenMittenCrew
Summary: A brief meeting between Jack and Ianto. For the anniversary of Ianto's death today. Will always love and miss him xxx (Sort of song fic, For You by Tracy Chapman. DISCLAIMER: lyrics belong to Tracy Chapman


For You

_No words to say  
No words to convey  
This feeling inside I have for you_

The smooth arm of the chair felt soft beneath his calloused fingertips, the leather, cracked with age, was warmed slightly by the blazing fire. He starred at the flames, the flickering colours mocking him as he reclined in the armchair, lines of distress marring his once handsome features. The quiet of the room calmed him as he relaxed deeper into the welcoming folds of the chair and the enveloping warmth of the fire.

He inclined his head slightly to his right as he herd soft footsteps approaching. They halted at his side and he turned to see a young man in a suit stood with a steaming mug of coffee extended in front of him like a peace offering. A flicker of surprise passed over his face briefly before it settled into one of comfortable familiarity before he smiled warmly and took the mug from the others grasp.

"Thank you Ianto, just what I needed." _Ianto! Could you work some coffee magic?_ He hummed in appreciation after taking a generous sip and closed his eyes.

He took a few moments for himself before opening his eyes and glancing at Ianto who had now moved to sit in a chair identical to his own on the other side of the fire. His face glowed slightly and his eyes were glazed over as though seeing something else other than the room they were in. "I wasn't expecting you to be here," he said.

Ianto focused at him then, and smiled, "I'm here at your service Sir."

"And what wonderful services they are that you provide Ianto!" This was accompanied by a wink that felt strange on his face. Ianto just smiled knowingly in reply, the unsaid statement passing between them, not needing to be spoken out loud. _Careful, that's harassment Sir._

He drained his coffee and put the mug to one side before stretching out and studying Ianto's face carefully. "Remember when you were invisible and had to walk around naked because you'd landed in Tiger crap and ruined your suit?"

Ianto grinned and laughed suddenly, and just like that, the ice was broken.

_Deep in my heart  
Safe from the guards  
Of intellect and reason  
Leaving me at a loss  
For words to express my feelings  
_

They talked, for a long time, until the fire started to die and all that remained were glowing embers. They talked about Torchwood, the way it changes you, ruins you. They reminisced about the good times; with Tosh and Owen. The genius and the doctor. Story's were passed, the nostrovite at Gwen's wedding, _that bloody clown mask_, and that night spent in a hotel avoiding themselves. They talked until their mouths went dry and their cheeks hurt from laughing, but so many words still went unsaid. So many words that _should _have been said were left, unspoken, hanging in the air, ignored, but not forgotten.

_Deep in my heart  
Deep in my heart  
Look at me losing control  
Thinking I had a hold  
But with feelings this strong  
I'm no longer the master  
Of my emotions_

There was silence for a moment, all the funny stories had been said, and all that was left was the grim truth, the leftovers. The destruction and the ruined lives, the heartache and the loneliness, the death, and those who are left behind. _No matter how many times I die, I always wake up alone._

Jack sighed heavily, staring straight into the fire place where quivering flames once raged, as though it held all answers, "I really miss you."

"I know"

He smiled slightly, his eyes gleaming as the first tears began to roll down his cheeks, "I need you so much, more than I ever though possible. You were never just a name on a list, a blip in time. You're Ianto Jones, a man I worked with at Torchwood Cardiff in the 21st Century. A man who helped me survive after the hardest year of my existence. A man who loved me despite everything I put him through, especially at the end. I didn't deserve you, I knew that, and I knew that you deserved better than I could give you. But I'd never go back and change it; I'd never stop you joining Torchwood just so you could have a longer, better life, without me. I'm selfish like that, and now I have to live with the consequences." _And I take it all back! I take it all back, but not him!_

"I'm so sorry Jack"

He continued as if he hadn't spoken, "I begged you to stay, was that not enough?" _Ianto? Ianto, stay with me, stay with me please, stay with me!_ "You'll stay with me now though, won't you?"

"Yeah."

Jack nodded, content, for now.

_No words to say  
No words to convey  
This feeling inside I have for you_

X


End file.
